Billets Doux #1: A love letter to you...
If you are here it means you have pried open the lid (a little) on me, the artist.
And in return, I must reward you by blinking back up toward where your face should be, from inside my artist box, to where the chink of light is falling on my cheek (from the opening you have made) and share something with you - something beautiful but real.
I feel that it is my vocation as an artist - to always make you something beautiful (but real).
The making of music, of art, must happen whether you are there or not but by wanting to see and hear me you have changed what I made into something more than I could conceive. You are the element in the crucible that makes art into alchemy. My songs are more alive because of you and as an artist I am more alive because of you.
For this reason I love you.
Maybe you are my greatest love...
and for this reason I am scared.
I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up. Maybe I'll be too needy, too clingy. Maybe I'll show you the wrong parts of me that aren't pretty or shiny. Maybe I'll overshare (oh, boy do I overshare) and you'll be scared off. Perhaps I'll be too bold, too adventurous - show my whole fierce self and you'll wish I was a bit more predictable and easy to understand.
If you stay and if you keep coming back (apparently I'm supposed to set you free if I love you- like hell!)...but if you stay then it may mean that you like that I show you all my dramatic, calm, strong, soft, angry, weird, vulnerable, freshly-shucked-oyster, real selves.
If you have stayed to the end of this first love letter that is as good a sign as any that we are perhaps for one another.
There are going to be times when I'm out there taking your hand and showing you the particles clinging to one-another that are the stars and then there will be times when we'll be eating pizza together on the floor getting pissed and watching squirrel ninja-warriors on Youtube.
Either way, this is who I am. I can't wait to get to know you.
I love you baby.